Vietnam Part 1 (Ho Chi Min City, Nha Trang, Hoi an and Hue)

It's another fairly long bus journey from Phnom Penn to Ho Chi Min City, our first stop on our exploration of Vietnam. On arrival, we're immediately scammed by a taxi driver. I try to be stoic and get over it, but as I write this weeks after the fact, I'm still pissed as hell. Like in Phnom Penn, our hostel is on the main backpacker street, but with fewer prostitutes. On our first full day we go into town and go on a free walking tour. This is not like free walking tours in Australia and Europe - these are run by students trying to improve their English and as a result do not expect a tip from you. We are taken around the sprawling metropolis of Ho Chi Min city, which is much more developed than Cambodian cities, not to mention a lot easier to walk around. We are taken to the central government building, the Notre-Dame cathedral, the Opera house and the post office. Most of these are examples of French colonial architecture, and are very pretty. On the tour we meet Brendon and Annalisa, a couple from Edinburgh. They've also just come from Cambodia, so we swap a few stories along the way. The tour ends at the War Remnants Museum. This is a particular sombre collection of photographs and artifacts from the war, chronicling it's history. Outside are American tanks and choppers captured during that time. Some of the wording inside the museum has been described as 'one sided' but I guess it's understandable when a foreign country deploys over 100,000 troops and drops 4.6 million tonnes of bombs in your country, whatever the reason.

City Hall

Notre-Dame Cathedral

American Chopper

After the tour, we all decide to go find some lunch. We eventually wonder close to our hostels, which is where a large street food market is. I have a fried rice pancake with pork and shrimp, and a bit of chicken as well. We agree to all meet for dinner. When we return to the hostel to cool off, however, the rain begins. The rain turns into a storm. We watch the storm with our roommate Mat like little kids out of the window, and watch the road get wetter and wetter. The power on the street goes out. We play a round of the card game Monopoly Go. We get very hungry. We go downstairs and now the street is flooded, with the water about a foot deep. The staff at the hostel are eating takeaway, so brave the storm and wade out to the same takeaway a few dwellings down. They are, understandably, inundated with orders. "Now all we need is some beer", I joke, but Mat takes this seriously and goes out on a beer run. With the water rising, we fear we might not see him again. Luckily, he does return and, accompanied by more guests of the hostel, we play another round of Monopoly Go. When the lights turn back on it's somehow less fun, but it was still a pretty awesome experience.

Bright lights, wet city

The following morning we decide to check out the Ho Chi Min City Museum. This is just O.K, the most interesting bit is the history of the struggle for Independence against the French colonists in 1945. We fly out in the evening to Nha Trang, which is a beach resort. It rains the whole time so we don't really do much and decide to leave a day earlier than planned. We spend our one day trying to find a pagoda with a giant Buddha statue. It takes us a long while, but eventually we get there, have an explore and I climb to the top.

The buddha and the bastard

It's from Nha Trang we get our first experience with the sleeper bus. As I understand it this is a staple of low-budget travel around Asia and I'm quite excited. To some, spending 10 hours on a reclining seat on a bus might sound like hell but to be honest, I was fairly indifferent to it. The worst part was I opted to wear long trousers and so got super hot, which affected my sleep, but apart from that it was fine. We were lucky enough on this outing to get the backseats which allow us to spread out a little (although, I imagine these are the worst seats during high season as you would be cwtched up next to total strangers.) As we roll into Hoi An, Heidi spots our hostel - it's a 2 minute walk from where the bus stops.

Hoi an is a very beautiful spot to walk around. The old town consists of French Colonial buildings and have been kept pristine. At night the streets are lit up with an array of multi-coloured lanterns and smaller ones which have been put to float out onto the river. Boat trips are so popular the river looks crowded and therefore uninviting, so we just wander around the markets and soak up the atmosphere.

Hoi an by night

Pretty lights

Pretty people

We opt for a half-day trip to the nearby My Son ruins. Our guide takes us round the ancient ruins, which are similar in structure to Angkor Wat in that the materials seem to be planted on top of each other with no adhesive. "How did they build it?" our tour guide asks, "...no-one knows!" The ruins are quite amazing, though have seen their share of damage. Heads from some statues were removed by some French Colonialists, and it was bombed during the Vietnam war due to the site being used as a Vietcong hideout. There are still large craters here from these bombings.

My Son ruins

Bomb crater

Hoi An to Hue is only 4 hours by bus, a doddle compared to our recent transport adventures. It's on a sleeper bus, and we head straight to the back once again. We're getting more and more organised as we go with this trip, and so the first thing we do is book our bus out of Hue. Then we head over to a massage parlour to receive a massage by a blind person. That's right, this is a set-up which gives blind people the opportunity to train and work as masseuses. The massage is an hour long and is fairly intense (not to mention hard to explain in words" I feel noticeably "lighter" afterwards. The next day we go 'tomb raiding'. Hue used to be the capital back way back when, and as such a number of ancient kings are buried nearby in elaborate tombs. We have a tour that takes us to the three main  tombs, as well as a few other stops. These are all beautiful in their own way, and I decide a tomb is something I will need in the future.

Getting some inspiration

In the afternoon we visit a rather lacklustre garden house and another pagoda before heading back to the centre via dragon boat. The boat is cool, but the afternoon doesn't quite match the morning. The next day we plan to go to the citadel, but it pours down and we decide it would be pretty miserable so we holeout in a cafe.

Dragon boat

Next time: Hanoi and Luang Prabang!

Cambodia

Our cheap flight from Bali to Siem Reap involves a long stop over in Kuala Lumpar, so we spend a good 12 hours people watching, sleeping on the floor and trying to find working charging stations. We touch down in the morning, completely shattered, and are welcomed by a blistering heat. We decide to have a chill day at the hostel. After lunch, the blue sky clouds over and, whilst we're sat in the sheltered patio of the hostel, the heavens open and we get our first taste of monsoon season. The rain is torrential, neither of us have ever seen anything quite like it. It's not long before we have to raise our feet above the floor to avoid getting wet. 

What follows for the next three days is being driven around the various temples of Angkor Archaeological park via Motodop (a motorbike with a little carriage attached). These temples date back to as far as the 9th century and whilst most of them were originally Hindu, they were re purposed as Buddhist later on. The temples are uniquely beautiful, and it's especially impressive how the stones stay in place without modern building materials such as cement, but I couldn't possibly list them all here. We visit Angkor Wat, the largest religious structure in the world, on the second day and decide to shell out for a guide who gives us a bit of history and religious context. He also points out some bullet holes, one complete with lodged bullet, that was a result of a civil war battle fought nearby. 

Strong and stable

Ta Prohm

I can't remember what this is

Angkor Wat

Neak Pean

Our next stop is Phnom Penn, which is 6 hours away by bus. Here we visit the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek. In 1975 the Communist party of Kampuchea, the followers of which are known as the Khmer Rouge, took power. It's leader, Pol Pot, had a vision of a pure communism by forcing everyone into a rural lifestyle and moving them from the cities into the countryside. In addition, monks, intellectuals, artists and anyone else who was deemed to be an enemy of the party was killed. Depending on who you ask, somewhere between 2-3 million Cambodians were killed and it is now known as the Cambodian genocide. The bodies of those killed were piled into mass graves which were all over the country - Choeung Ek has now been turned into a memorial and information site about this horrific part of the countries history. An audio tour narrated by a survivor guides us through and tells us stories from the sites and others like it. It is truly horrific and I don't feel much like taking pictures of the tiny grave sites where hundreds of men, women and children (including babies) were thrown in like rubbish for political idealism. The last site is the memorial tower itself, which contains excavated skulls and bones from the site. I can't bring myself to even look at the skulls, so we don't even go in. The next stop is the S-21 prison. This was the prison were enemies of the police state were held until being taken to the fields to be killed. It is, once again, a monument to human misery as we're shown how people were tortured for little to no reason. 

Near Phnom Penn there is a shooting range where tourists can fire AK-47s and rocket launchers. I was originally thinking of popping a few rounds until we discovered it was quite expensive. But I don't think I would have really been in the mood after today.

I hear there's a popular T-shirt in Phuket that reads "No, I don't want a f**king suit, tuk-tuk, or massage, thank you very much". I really could have done with this on our last day in Phnom Penn. It's possible the hottest day of our travels yet and as we head over to the Royal Palace, we our hounded by moto drivers. It's a short walk but I'm dripping with sweat. When we get there one driver tells us it's closed this morning and tries to get us to go on a tour with him instead. I had read about this scam but totally forgotten, so we wonder round the outside for a bit until another driver tells us it is open (and tries to get us to go with him to the entrance). We walk back and wonder round the palace, which has stunning architecture. We don't have a tour so I can't say we learnt all that much, but it was still worth the price of admission.

Not a bad crib

Neither Siam Reap or Phnom Penn strike us as amazing cities to visit - there's not a lot in the cities themselves and the lack of pavements makes getting about a bit tricky. Nonetheless, what we have seen and done hear has been amazing and enlightening. That, coupled with 30p draft beer and great food equals a pretty excellent week.

Next time: Vietnam!

Bali

We arrive in Denpasar, Bali, late at night and have a few hours sleep in a hostel. I have less sleep than intended, having not changed the time on my phone and waking up at 5 instead of 7, and being very confused as to why reception wasn’t open. When Heidi wakes up at the correct time, we have our first taste of indonesian cusine for breakfast – a generous portion of Nasi Goreng, fried rice. We then relocate to Ubud via taxi. Our new hostel consists of a few 8 bed dorms in a small bungalow – we seem to be the only guests here. We walk down the pavementless track to Ubud proper and have a bit of lunch on one of the high streets. We visit the market, but we’re still pretty knackered from the night before so we head back after a short wander.

The next day we are meeting Heidi’s best friend from school, Kiff, some of his friends and some people they are on a tour with. We can’t get a hold of him (due to a big night) so we decide to have breakfast at their hotel and surprise him. We’re introduced to the other guys from the tour and form a group to go to one of the big draws to Ubud – the monkey forest sanctuary located just next to the hotel. I don’t think I need to explain what this is, but needless to say there are tonnes of monkeys – some aggressive than others. Shortly after we enter one jumps on Kiffs back, resulting in him swinging off his backpack. During our walk through the beautiful forest, a lady with an open bag is mugged by another monkey. It steals her purse and climbs up a tree. A gent from one of the shops has to, somehow, coax the culprit into dropping it.

Hail Hydra

Because monkeys need temples too

We head back to Kiff’s hotel and jump in the pool. The monkeys are still about, mind. We can see them clambering over the wall and occasionally descending onto the hotel grounds, where they are immediately chased by hotel staff wielding staffs and slingshots. I don’t know if this is their only job, but part of me hopes it is. We’re all having a great time chilling at the pool, keeping a watchful eye of the monkeys, when I spoil it all by cutting my big toe on a loose tile in the pool. I jump out and begin getting nursing treatment from Heidi, whose soon relieved by four members of the hotel staff. They put all manner of treatment on my toe, including what I am told is “traditional medicine”. There’s talk of me going to the clinic, but after a bit more nursing the chief first aider tells me I should be alright, so long as I give it a wash in an hour or so. We decide it’s time to head back.

That night Heidi wakes me up in the middle of the night because she can hear something. I get up and walk over to what was once a kitchenette. In the sink is a 2 inch cockroach trying for dear life to get out. I attempt to get rid of it using humane methods (water) but when this fails I opt to kill it (water bottle) and return to my sleep. Part and parcel, I guess.

We’ve booked a driver for today to take us to our next stop, Candi Dasa, but first we’re making a few stops around Ubud. First we go to a beautiful rice terrace. Frustratingly, there are ‘donation stops’ along the way that stop you from going any further without making a ‘donation’. This is mainly annoying because we run out of small notes early on and can’t walk around the whole thing, I’d have happily paid more for the entrance fee. On the other hand it’s scorching hot so we’re not too upset about doing the full circuit. The next stop is Gunung Kawi, otherwise known as the rocky temple, as it was literally carved into the rocks back in the 11th century. It’s an impressive site. The next stop is the Tirta Empul, also known as the water temple. I have both my shoulders and knees covered and yet I’m still called up to put a sarong. As soon as the gent has wrapped it around me, he pats my beard and says “Ahh, Hanuman!”. I don’t know if he knew that I knew Hanuman is the Hindu monkey god, but he certainly seemed amused. The water temple is given the informal name due to small pools where visitors can have their own purification ritual. We don’t have towels so we give this a miss.

Rice Terrace

Rocky Temple

Water temple

We arrive in Candi Dasa in the late afternoon. Our hotel is very nice and has it’s own stretch of private beach. Kiff and the others join us the next day and the rest of the week is spent mostly pool side, working on the tan and drinking Bintang, the local lager. On our second day, Heidi and I go for a relaxing massage. A few days after this, after a stressful morning trying to get passport photos for our Cambodia visa, I have quite a few Bintangs plus a bespoke cocktail. Overall we had a great albeit mostly sedentary week in Bali. I won’t list everything I ate but it was all tasty, and people are very friendly and eager to help.

Brisbane to Cairns

Once again we have to head out of town to pick up our campervan. We accidentally take the wrong exit out of the train station and the walk (in the boiling hot sun, with all our bags) takes roughly 4 longer. We get to the place on time, but end up sticking around for about 2 hours whilst they get the camper ready. At midday, we’re finally on the road again. What we have this time is the Hippie Drift, which is a very compact, bare bones camper. It is easier to park, though. I name her Giselle, after a character from My Dad Wrote a Porno (although we later find out she already had a name – Regina). We drive a few hours to get to Noosa and pay for quite an expensive camp site just outside of town. We have lunch, then relax in the sun before having a quick dip in their quite cold pool.

The next day is an early start as we a doing a day trip of Frasier Island – the world’s largest sand Island.  We make our way to the jetty and are picked up by the 4WD – it looks like a converted rubbish truck. We meet our guide for the day and head to 40 mile beach, which is still on the mainland. Driving on the beach is a unique experience, as our guide needs to stay close the sea to drive on the harder sand without actually touching the water, which requires a bit of weaving around the waves. Shortly after this it turns out our vehicle has a radiator leak and we have to go back a short way to get on another truck.
Following the switch we head to rainbow beach, named because of the different colours and sand and rock. Shortly after this we reach the barge. There’s a large truck that’s apparently stuck on the barge with a flat battery, so they simply reverse the barge and practically ram it into the beach, giving the truck some momentum that it can be kick started. It works, the truck is off and we get on. When we get to the Island, we have another bumpy but fun drive down the beach and we get a sense of the scale of Frasier – its huge. We’re told to look out for dingos on our left and whales on our left – we see neither (though we do see a rather large dead turtle on the beach) We eventually head inland to Lake McKenzie, the water of which is meant to have healing powers. Intrigued, I drive straight in to the freezing cold water. The sun goes in, the wind picks up and...I don’t spend much time healing. After lunch we go for a rainforest walk, following a creek. Driving out, the truck gets bogged in the sand and we have to get out and push. No, really. When we get back to the barge we finally see a single dingo mooching about. We get back later after a long, but pretty great, day on the truck.

Damn, you a sexy beach

The next day we get out of expensive Noosa and head north to a small town called Bunderberg. After 30 minutes of driving, we realise that I left various clothes on the drying line back in at the campsite. We decide to press on. Bunderberg is famous for it’s rum and ginger beer (the latter of which I had a fair few of back in New Zealand). We only have a quick wander and but a few clothes. We stay in a free campsite in a place called Sharon Gorge, which has a nice little walk to the river.

The next stop is Agnes Water and the Town of 1770. We go up to 1770 first which is a pleasant coastal place with a lookout to sea. We go up there, where we’re told by not one but two people that they’ve seen whales, dolphins and turtles from the lookout. We spend quite a bit of time staring out to sea but don’t see anything. It’s still fun clambering about the rocks though. We drive back though Agnes to get to our campsite. After parking up, a gent (possibly the manager) tells us about a family parked next to us, who have a child known round the campsite as ‘Bam-Bam’ on account of the racket he makes. We get the shuttle back to town and chill at the beach all afternoon.

The Reef 2 Beach Surf school in Agnes water prides itself on being perhaps the cheapest surf school in New Zealand. As it’s so cheap, I’ve decided to opt in for the 3 hour lesson (for $13). We start on the beach learning the basics and at this point I’m feeling relatively confident. But when we get into the water I can’t seem to get the hang of the movements. For the last 90 minutes, I just get my ass kicked by the waves. After a group photo, we’re told we all passed the class and we can pick up our certificates, but I feel doing this would make a mockery of the entire Australian certification system so I don’t bother. At least I didn’t pay $50.

I get dry and we drive through the afternoon to a pleasant campsite on Calliope River. As we head to the toilets to brush our teeth, a man walking his two pitbulls was walking the same way. Without as much as a ‘good evening’ he gestured to the animals and said in a gruff voice: “These are real fucking dogs...not like those fluffy c*nts over there. These would have them for breakfast.” And so on. Heidi and I can barely contain ourselves at this Australian who couldn’t be more proud of his ultraviolent pets.

It’s hard to put into words the experience of doing a road trip in the campervan. We (I) did a lot of driving each day, and really didn’t do much else some days. But it was still a hell of a lot of fun. We spend the next 2 days popping into places for drinks and walks that would be tedious to list (not to mention read) on this blog. We started our last full day in Mission Beach, where we got up early to watch the sunrise over the ocean (not a disappointment) and because we were so close to Cairns we were able to do a lot of driving around and exploring around the Atherton Tablelands region, checking out a number of waterfalls and Lake Echam, which has it’s own rarely-seen crocodile.

We didn't see him...what a croc!

Sunrise over Mission Beach

The day after arriving in Cairns and returning Giselle, we have our trip out to the reef. A bus picks us up and takes us to our boat where we spend roughly 2 hours getting out to the reef. We’re snorkeling at two stops and I’m doing an introductory scuba dive. As soon as I (Heidi didn’t join me at first, as she was suffering from mal de mer) jumped in the water I was surrounded by fish and coral. The colours and patterns of ocean life always amazes me, and being this up close and personal makes it even more mesmerising. Whilst filming some colourful fish, a white-tipped shark passes by. After 30 mins of snorkeling (Heidi did jump in, in the end) it’s time for my first dive. I get my gear on and submerge. I have real trouble getting my ears to pop, which we all need to do a couple of times before getting to the level at which we’ll be swimming. In truth I get more freaked out than I thought I would, I even think about bailing and returning to the surface. But I press on, and try to relax. I get more used to it after a few minutes, but really we don’t see as much as we did snorkeling. The dive lasts roughly 20 minutes.

Under the seeeea

Many fishes

I’d never heard of parrotfish before, but they were definitely the weirdest fish we saw. The algae they eat is trapped in the coral so they have developed a beak (instead of a taste for anything else) which gives them their imaginative name. On our second spot I follow a school of huge buckhead parrotfish, which is like something out of the film Avatar. Truly weird.

Sqwuak

We spend the next few days in Cairns planning the rest of our trip, and unfortunately don’t make it out to the rainforest or any further north. Our camper was more expensive than planned, so we need to save for the next 3 months!

Next time – Bali, and probably Cambodia!

Sydney to Brisbane

We’ve got a another relocation deal, but rather than a camper we have a rather nice Toyota Camri (which Heidi names Trixy). We get totally lost coming out of Sydney, going the back south before heading north and losing an hour. We need to get a move on because driving at night is not advised on account of kangaroos jumping out in front of cars. Quite a few hours of driving later we arrive at Coffs Harbour. Tonight we’re staying with Heidi’s second cousin Vaughan and his wife Julie. They welcome us into their beautiful home with as much warmth as wine (i.e. a lot) and provide us with our best meal in a long while. Vaughan tells us a bit about the local wildlife, such as the geckos that prowl on the roof and a python that once meandered into his study.

The next day Julie takes on a tour of Coffs harbour. We go down to the jetty and climb a small mountain, mount Coramba, for a stunning view of Coffs and the coastline. Julie then takes us to a small residential area on the off chance we’ll see some kangaroos up close. There are dozens, milling about people’s gardens and the sides of the road. We even get close to one with a little joey in its pouch.

We head back to the house and Vaughan tells us the python has been back. We wonder round the garden trying to find him but no luck. Vaughan takes us round his front garden where his daughter is getting married next year. It’s something he’s very proud of, and with good reason. We pack up the car and are just about to get going when we hear Julie – the python’s been spotted! I get the camera out and begin taking pictures and a bit of filming. Vaughan then decides to do his best Steve Irwin and grabs the snake by the tale to get a bit of a reaction out of him. It works, and he slithers off. What a place to live.

Slippery...like an eel

After about 30 mins of leaving Coffs Harbour we realise we’ve left both our headphones at the house. We’d only just bought them in Sydney so we turn around to get them. We’re not having much luck in Trixy.

We arrive in Byron Bay just after sunset, without hitting any wildlife. We spend the next day wondering about town. Byron is a hippie/surfer centre and every other shop demonstrates this. As Heidi shops for a bikini I grab a smoothie to get into the vibe. After checking out the town we head to the beach where people are walking their dogs or doing yoga. At one point two newly-met dogs begin scrapping and, totally unaware of their surroundings, continue their squabble over Heidi kicking sand over her towel. I attempt a swim in the sea but it’s far too cold.

At sunset we take trixy up to Cape Byron lighthouse. This is known for being Austrailia’s most easterly point, as well as for having some amazing sunsets. We drive up but we’re a few minutes later, there’s no where to park. We catch the sunset drive-by style then head back to the hostel for dinner.

Can't imagine why this was so popular

We’re on a tight schedule out of Byron as Trixy needs to be returned to Brisbane by 10am. Luckily we get her there in time,  and as we arrive it begins to pour down with rain. We get the train into town and find our hostel for the night. The rain seems to have stopped so we walk down the very pleasant South Bank which gives a great view of the city skyline up close. We then catch the free ferry into the city centre, and walk about for a bit. I didn’t know anything about Brisbane before, but it’s actually a pretty cool city. When we get back to the hostel and get into our room, the rain is back and thunder has come as well. We settle in for the night.

We’ve had to become quite picky with what activities and museums we pay for do to the large expense of travelling by car (we’ve now booked a full price camper for the rest of the trip). However, when we found out the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane is doing an exhibition of the Marvel Studios films, I deem it an absolute necessity. It’s a short walk from our hostel, so we wonder over and decide to do a free tour. This turns out to be a mistake as our tour guide, whilst a lovely seeming lady, doesn’t seem to know much about the films or characters. After the tour we go through the exhibition again, really having a good look at the actual costumes and props from the movies. Much like the Weta Cave in Wellington, the attention to detail in these artefacts is pretty amazing. There’s also a section at the end dedicated to the special effects of the films. Despite the disappointing tour it was well worth the price of admission.

Suit up

We go back to the hostel and do a bit of planning before it’s time to head out again. Whilst in Coffs Harbour Vaughan put us in touch with his son Scott, who lives in Brisbane and has offered for us to stay over the weekend. We catch the metro out to get to Fortitude Valley where we, quite literally, bump into Scott. We drop off our bags in the flat then make our way back to the Valley as we’ve been invited to a leaving party. We go to a bar called the Coop and have a beer with Scott outside whilst its still warm. We’re shortly joined by his girlfriend Jay. There’s been a bit of a misunderstanding as to where the leaving party is, so we stay at the Coop and drink more beer and eat a whole lot of fried chicken. We get some more drink on the way back to the flat and end up watching youtube videos for another hour. We’ve already got to know each other pretty well by this point.

The next day Heidi and I go explore Brisbane once again. We opt to check out the clock tower which you can take the 1930s lift up for free. Like Sydney and Melbourne, Brisbane is a city that has kept a lot of 17/1800s architecture and built it’s modern skyscapers around them, and the clock tower is somewhat boxed in by the taller buildings. Still an impressive view. In the same building as the tower is the museum of Brisbane which we also check out because it’s free. They have a temporary exhibition on food (bit leftfield, nothing amazing) and one about the history of the city. We then head to the Botanic gardens for a read in the sun. The gardens are surprisingly quiet considering they are right in the middle of the city. Eventually the ants annoy us too much and we return to the flat. Scott and Jay introduce us to the podcast “My dad wrote a porno” which I had heard of but never listened to – it’s pretty hilarious. We finish off the drinks from the previous night.

We don’t really have any plans for Sunday so we end up watching Scott and Jay play Xcom2 on the Playstation. They’ve decided to record the gameplay and we’re guests. It’s pretty big fun. To round off our Brisbane stay the two of us go out to the cinema to see The Dark Tower (3/10). The next morning Jay takes us to a nice little cafe for some breakfast before saying our goodbyes. Scott and Jay have been great hosts and a lot of fun to be around, but we’ve a campervan to pick up!

Melbourne to Sydney

Our first flight of the year ends with a bumpy landing – it’s seriously windy in Melbourne. We take the  bus to the train station, then hop on the free tram to near our hostel. We’re given a free drink voucher on arrival so we use it on a coffee and plan our day. We spend the first day getting our bearings and understanding how the free tram works (i.e. really well, it’s super useful). We wander down the main streets, Federation square and a few of the street art laden alleys.

Hoiser Lane

The next day we head to the State Library. There’s a few exhibitions in here, including a permeant fixture dedicated to infamous bushranger Ned Kelly. It includes his actual armour he was wearing when he was shot and captured, complete with bullet holes. We play some chess in the main room of the library. Melbourne’s IMAX claims to be the largest cinema screen in the world (Google seems to agree) so we feel obliged to go and see Dunkirk there, even though we saw it back in Wellington. It’s worth it though, as it improves the experience tenfold. As we walk back I notice something moving in the trees, but it’s too dark to see. Further down the path, one of the critters steps towards a street light. We later identify our first run in with Australia’s varied wildlife as a Possum, who run rampage around the park at night.

Saturday is an early start as we have a bus tour booked for the Great Ocean road. This starts a little to the South West of Melbourne, so it made sense to do a tour rather than drive there and back. We drive for a few hours until we reach Torquay, birthplace of the surfing brand Ripcurl, where we have morning tea and watch the surfers from the beach. Next stop is the gateway which marks the start of the Great Ocean Road, which as the name suggests is a stunning trip between ocean and cliff. We stop for lunch at a holiday park where we also walk around spotting parakeets and koalas. Being nocturnal, the koalas are asleep in the trees but I did spot one being rudely awoken by a bird. We stop for a rainforest walk before heading to the highlights of the GOR.

Seconds from disaster

When we reach the iconic 12 apostles, it begins pouring it down with rain. It’s a bit of a shame not only because we get wet but because the scenery isn’t quite as picturesque in the grey. Still pretty impressive, mind. Also we spot our first Wallaby on the way. No-one can quite agree how many apostles there actually are, just that there arn’t 12. Next is Loch Ard Gorge, which I think outshines 12 apostles, and Gibson steps. At the bottom of the steps is a beach and caves complete with Stagmalites, etc. It’s a long journey back and a late night.

A number of Apostles

We have to change hostel the next day as we have now booked our first campervan. It’s a relocation deal between Melbourne and Sydney at a reduced price, but we have to pick it up Tuesday. It’s not really an issue because there’s plenty to do in Melbourne. We start the day at the Queen Victoria Markets – the worlds largest open air market. We mooch about, not really planning on buying anything and have a bit of lunch. We then head to the ACMI. We do the permenant free exhibition, a history of film and moving image which dips into Austrailia’s contribution. I play on an original NES for the first time. We see our second Academy Award of our trip (the first being in the Roxy in Wellington, this one Cate Blancett’s from The Aviator). It’s certainly my kind of museum. We walk across town back to the library where we start a free walking tour, but a couple of stops in it’s clear Heidi isn’t feeling well so we stop. I drop her off at the hostel and go for a walk down by the river taking pictures. That night the hostel manager has bought pizza for everyone, and we watch the first Harry Potter with some great commentary from our fellow patrons.

We take it fairly easy the next day and head out a bit later for a river cruise. This tkes us out of Melbourne and to the nearby Williamstown. Here we grab a map and give ourselves a self guided tour. It’s pleasant but very sleepy. We have coffee and cake for lunch. When we get back to Melbourne we head back to the ACMI for another free exhibition – this one about women in the videogame industry. It’s essentially pods where you can play games with a bit of a bio next to it. Heidi and I play a game called Tricky Towers for a time probably pushing acceptable boundaries. That night we go to a rooftop bar for a quick drink and grab a gourmet doughnut on our way back.

I don't know what this is

Melbourne by sunset

It’s time to pick up the camper. We head out of town to an inductrial district not far from the airport and see her for the first time – and she is massive. I’ve never driven a campervan before, and this is a 4-birth, more of an RV than campervan. But I can’t back out now. Luckily, it’s easy to get on the main road from the rental place and within 30 minutes, I’m fairly comfortable. “Punch it Chewie!” I say to Heidi, but she ignores me.

We take Felicity (the campervan, my naming) the long way round to Sydney, through what is sometimes affectionately known as the coastal route (you see the sea two, maybe three times). Shortly after we leave we pass a place called ‘Cannibal Creek’. I ask Heidi if she wants to stop there for lunch but she says no, which I thought was super weird. Instead we opted to have lunch in a shopping centre car park after a few hours of driving. It’s only after this that I realise I should be waving at every campervan coming towards us in the other lane. When the other driver waves back, it gives me a joy I can’t begin to put into words.

We head to a place called Lakes Entrance, which seems like a nice place but we don’t really a have a chance to explore. Its getting dark and starting to drizzle so we attempt to cook our first meal in the camper. But we can’t figure out the gas, so we give up and go to McDonalds. The next morning I figure out the gas (an extra secret valve I wasn’t told about) and we cook up some sausages for breakfast. I am already loving camping.

Camperman

The next day we drive for a few hours until we reach Ben Boyd national park for lunch and a little walk around the forest. We don’t see any wildlife  but there is a lookout over the dramatic cliffs that meet the sea. After this, somehow I miss the turning to stay on the main road and we end up in a place called Pambula Beach where we see a large mob of kangeroos chilling in a fenced area. After finding the main road we continue until we find our first free campsite – one in a forest. The only facilities here are a toilet and running water. We agree that we probably can’t do consecutive nights at free camp sites, as we wouldn’t be able to shower (plus you usually need power to charge the fridge). I do a bit of star gazing and I’m pretty sure I see a shooting star.

Into the wild

The next day we arrive in Sydney. Once again it’s an industrial district out of town so we have to find the metro and get that to get into the centre. Fortunately our hostel for the night is not too far from the station. We stay in ‘The Pod’ which is like a hostel except the bunk beds are more like boxes with a curtain, giving you a bit more privacy. There’s a bit of a mix up at check in, we appear to have booked the both of us into one bed and so as a result we end up in separate rooms.  I go out just to check out the immediate surroundings, but we’re both pretty knackered so we have a chilled evening.

On our first full day in Sydney, we head for another ‘free’ (read: pay what you want) walking tour. We walk around the old colonial buildings and get quite the history lesson of Sydney. The tour ends by the harbour where we get our first glimpse of the iconic Opera House and bridge opposite. On walking back, Heidi spots a Guylian chocolate cafe which seems like a one-off (actually a large chain in Australia) and we have lunch and a coffee (mocha, obviously).

Bird cages

After our second night we have to change hostel again – we opt for a 4 bed dorm and when we get in it appears the two girls in there have spread their stuff out all over the room (it later transpires that only one was the real culprit). We spend a bit of time shopping for necessities, then we have lunch in the Domain. We walk through the Botanic gardens back to the Opera House. Heidi spots rugby referee Wayne Barnes. Given that the Wallabies are playing the All Blacks tonight in Sydney, we guess he must be reffing. We continue on to the opera house and get a few snaps up close. On our way back into town Heidi tries and fails to get my attention, as she’s spotted another recognisable face – actor Jason Momoa. I turn back and indeed see a tall man with dreadlocks surrounded by bodyguards. As Heidi’s a big fan I take her word for it. When we go back to town we catch a dance that is performed on the side of a tall building.

Extreme Ballet

Silly pose next to iconic building

That night we head to a pub to watch the rugby. We speak to a nice couple (she from New Zealand, he from Scotland), then watch the All Blacks dominate as they do. I have my first beer in a while.

Something of a travel hack for you – Sydney’s transport system is usually capped at $15 dollars a day but on Sunday this cap is reduced to the odd figure of $2.65. We take advantage of this and head inland to the Blue Mountains (a 4 hour round trip). We opt for a hop-on hop-off bus tour which we later find out you don’t really need, though we did have a nice walk down to a waterfall we wouldn’t have otherwise. The main lookout is called Echo Point given you a full 180 degrees view of the mountains which are stunning, as well as the ‘three sisters’ – giant stone structures. We have a little walk and I go down some very steep steps to reach one of the three sisters, except it’s seriously crowded. I think we both fall asleep on the train ride back, and once again opt for a an early night.

Gordon Falls

At Echo Point

Next time – Syndey to Brisbane!

Wakana, Queenstown, Milford Sound and Christchurch

It’s counting down to our last week in New Zealand with just 3 more stops remaining. The first of which is Wanaka. We’re only here on night and we get there in the afternoon when it’s hammering it down with rain. We’re not sure what else we can do so we decide to go to the quirky independent cinema to see War for the Planet of the Apes (8/10). Next stop is Queenstown, the country’s adventure and party capital. On the way in we stop at the original A. J Hackett Bungy, the first commercial bungy jump in the world. We watch a short documentary about the man, who turned his hobby of jumping off tall things into, I presume, a multi-million dollar industry. One person on our bus does the jump here, other adrenaline junkies are saving it for the Nevis bungy, the largest in the world. Go hard or go home, I suppose.

We arrive at the hostel, do a quick food shop then think about what we want to do. Heidi and I are not really down to do much in the way of thrill rides, or partying, but because of how the bus works we have three nights here. I go with two lads from the bus up the gondola, which takes you up the giant mountain that overlooks the town. The views from the top of Queenstown surrounded by beautiful mountains and the massive lake are spectacular. From there, we get on the luge – small carts you roll down a paved track. You only have a brake and let gravity do the rest, it’s pretty great fun.

That night there’s a dinner put on by the Kiwi Experience – chicken and ribs. It’s a great meal but we don’t hang around for drinks as tomorrow we have a day trip, also courtesy of kiwi, to Milford Sounds.

We get up seriously early and hop on the bus. The sounds are a good two hour drive, so halfway we stop for coffee and snacks. The last 45 minutes of the drive are a stunning jaunt through the snowy mountain range, at one point going through a mountain via a tunnel. We emerge from the other side as our driver plays the Jurassic Park theme. It’s apt but not needed to inspire awe at our surroundings.
We arrive at the ferry port and shortly get on the ferry. The trip is about 1 ½ hours. Milford Sounds is pretty incredible, and our ferry captain provides narration pointing out waterfalls and, once again, seals chilling on the rocks. Fun fact: It turns out Milford Sounds is misnamed because it’s actually really quiet actually a fjord.

No scuba gear, no pot of gold

It’s a long day so we’re pleased to get into bed. Unfortunately, there are people in our 8 bed dorm who don’t seem to care we’re trying to sleep and chat for ages (mainly umming and arring about whether to go out). When some of them eventually do go out they come back and wake us both up. I can’t get back to sleep so I read for a few hours in the log cabin-esque lounge (complete with fire). We change rooms for our final night.

On our last day I do the walk up the same mountain where the gondola and luge is. The walk is longer and harder than I imagined, but as it’s a clearer day the view from the top is that much better. Later we meet people for drinks and have a nice night chatting, and saying goodbye to some of, our travellers from the bus.

As if the walk wasn't "breath-taking" enough

Queenstown is often where the crowd on the kiwi bus changes. Some people go south to Invercargill and Dunedin, some people spend more time in Queenstown. The bus, therefore, becomes instantly more clicky with people predominantly sticking with those from their previous bus. As a result, Heidi and I are mainly hanging around a group of lads (a mixture of UK, Germany and one American). Next stop is Lake Tekapo.

Before arriving at the hostel we visit the church that sits on the side of the lake. This is one of the most photographed buildings in New Zealand, not just because of it’s beautiful surroundings but because Lake Tekapo is a great place to see the milky way. Which is why Heidi and I are booked on a star gazing tour at night.

This might actually have been on the way to Lake Tekapo...

We treat ourselves to a double room at Lake Tekapo, a small chalet with a double bed and two heaters. The hostel has a large dining/lounge area with a roaring fire. We venture out with the lads to climb the mountain. Before we begin our ascent there are warnings of ice – enter at your own risk type of things. These are ignored, but after about 30 mins Heidi and I are separated from the guys and she quite rightly points out that we will have to descend through the ice, a task more arduous than traversing up through it. She’s right, so we return to the hostel and drink hot chocolate by the fire.


We get picked up for our star gazing at 10.30pm and get taken to the observatory atop the same mountain we attempted to climb earlier. We’re given something of a tour around the observatory, and our guide points out stars and constellations with a laser pointer. We then get to look through some powerful telescopes at the moon, Saturn and a great number of stars. Unfortunately, because it’s a full moon it’s too bright to see the milky way. When we get back down the mountain it’s minus 8 degrees and it takes a while to stop shivering and go to sleep.

Me, shifting in and out of our known reality

Out final stop is Christchurch. We arrive here on the 5th but our flight isn’t until the 10th – we thought we could use the downtime. And downtime there was because Christchurch is still recovering from a large earthquake in 2011. We find that for the most part they have been planning the rebuilt, and it’s only this year they have actually started. There are some temporary work-arounds, such as the Re:Start mall, which is entirely comprised of shipping containers and food trucks.
The only attraction we decide to do is the tram, which is a restored antique one. The tram itself is very pretty but the tour consists of listing the buildings that were destroyed, and the buildings their completing. As we go round there’s some concern part of the track will be closed off because the local super rugby team the Crusaders are having their victory parade today (remember, we watched the final in Franz Josef?). We get off the tram, pick up a free flag and become loyal supporters for the afternoon.

Heidi and I manage to get our flag signed by a few players, including All Black captain Kieran Read. We listen to the speeches then have our picture taken with the cup. It’s the highlight of our stay in Christchurch.

We book our last night in a hotel near the airport and for the last meal I have a burger from New Zealand’s own Burgerfuel. We first saw one of these in Sri Lanka, but their everywhere in NZ and...their pretty damn good. The quality of the patty far surpasses other mainstream burger joints and the other ingredients, of which Heidi is not a fan, compliment it perfectly. It’s only my second since we’ve been here and I’m sad I haven’t had more. I also attempt to eat a McDonalds pie because, y’know, it’s a pie from McDonalds but as always my eyes are bigger than my stomach (also the pie was surprisingly average).

It’s an early flight so after only a few hours sleep we get up and trudge along to the small airport and leave our temporary home. We’ve spent 10 months in the land of the long white cloud, while we only planned 4. Just like when we left Wellington, I’m keen to leave but the feeling’s ultimately bittersweet.


Next stop...Australia!